A Moment Apart

Declutter, Rearrange, Reboot

Advertisements

4 AM Euphoria

Imagine this – you’re driving down an indefinite asphalt road, twice the fastest you have ever drove, gliding on a dark starry night and there is nothing around to distract. It’s just trees on both sides swinging with the breeze and there are distant mountains lit by moonlight that move in parallax. No beings in sight and no other vehicle to care about.

Your hair pushed back by the gushing wind that roars gently around your ears and your eyes closes to just soak it all in and blend with your exquisite surrounding. Do you feel it? Do you feel the freedom? I felt it too. like a hot air balloon that snapped the rope tying it down. Like that obscure final scene in movie ‘Birdman‘ where the protagonist jumps out of the window and just fly – a metaphorical expression of being freed.

Advantage of having eidetic memory is the ability to pull up specific instances from the past where you witnessed a similar feeling. Like the one from Peter McKinnon’s vlog where his friend Bobby in car trunk says – ‘I could just lie down here and no one will ever know’ or that scene from the movie ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind‘ where Jim Carrey lying beside Kate on a frozen ground utters – ‘I could die right now…I’m just so happy‘.

l-could-die-right-now-im-just-so-happy-ive-22655627

Courtesy – https://goo.gl/TMy7GM

Or that ending scene from ‘Perks of Being a Wallflower‘ where Emma Watson’s embracing-moment-with-open-arms is beautifully complimented by ‘We are Infinite‘ background narration.

Image result for we are infinite perks of being a wallflower

Courtesy – https://goo.gl/bhaiV3

In each of these scenarios, one felt an euphoric feeling of having found an eternal happiness. It is as if they were locked within and needed this key of a blissful moment to be unveiled. Nothing else existed. No worldly apprehensions, no weighing attachments. It’s just you trying to make sense of the present. You are bleeding contentment.

To be continued…

 

Shepard Toned

Just a little post to glide by.

I love music. I mean like a total freak. I constantly feel urge to put in my earphones and fade away from reality with the flowing melody. Also, as a film-maker, I’m in perpetual search for new tunes & new sounds.

My favourite musical artist is Illenium – just want to let you guys know and may be discover his ethereal discography.

So when MrSuicideSheep (he’s awesome!) prompted his subscribers (a whooping 9.3 Million base) to post underrated songs they love which has less than 1000 views, I knew I was up for an unexpected musical treat.

People from all over world, as wonderful as they are, started posting names of songs and artists they held as their little secret. There it was, like a paradise of floating rhythms, a musical heaven if you say so. I had to do something to retain all these names and give each of them a listen later on. This is what I did –

Songs List

Another perfect storm – burden

Nadav Cohen – Surround

Auram – Windrush

No TV no Radio – Anger

Vaboh – I’m sick of trying

Alt-j – Dissolve me/something good

Lua – Bright eyes

Essence – Somewhere down the road, we fell apart

Potsu and shiloh dynasty

Sigma – find me ft. birdy

Krowez (artist)

A himitsu flourish wither

Siames – the wolf

Left Boy – Security Check

Electro swing

Mako – Murder

Obstacles – Syd Matters

Doyle Perez – AWOL

She was – Dabin

Jay Sounds – Legacy

Rxseboy – college girl

MILKK

High Klassified – Stenio Keytar

Nightingale – Sara Kendall

Skullclub – Restart Again

May gaulin – op opa

Far from home – The Other End

David August, Sepalot – Duum Dilip, ENZU

Bad Habit – Royc3

Some days – Informal

Skill of a God – Wydron

Teflon Sega

June – sage Charmaine

Waiting in vain – rendy padugo

Last call by Lael

Energy 52 Cafe del mar

Summers day v2 by Jinsang

Sonder – Departure

Dancing – Aaron Smith (KRONO remix)

Elina – Wild Enough

Between Mountain – Into the dark

Ayia – water plant

Let’s Eat Grandma – Hot pink

Abi Ocia – Running

Broods (artist)

Shy by Hunny

Harrier – Bite the hell

Matt maeson – the hearse (album)

Billie Eilish

Cold skin by Seven Lions and Echos

Boy by ODESZA

Alec Benjamin

SEV Manoeuvres (Prod. Cashmoney AP)

Menke – Moln

Anica – Ravens

Deamn – Hypnotized

Code: Pandorum – Harakiri

Dear Rouge – Phase Album (Boys & Blodes and chains)

machineheart – Overgrowth

Finneas – Break My Heart Again

Dorox – Alone

Rival & Cadmium – Heartbeat (Fet. Veronica Bravo) (Ader Remix)

Stay or Follow – Many Faces

Blood/water by grandson

Doodie – sick of loosing soulmates

Crywolf & Illenium – Shrike

Path of a hero – niklas johansson

Shinigami – nobody

Muddy- Bubblegum

Shingo Nakamura – Nothing

Something Duderpatrullen

Wasted Ceremony – Without you

Midnight Kids – Find Our Way

Natural Selection by Bearos

DM Galaxy – Burial

Dominic Pierce – Still ft. Felivand

Movements – pham

Agnes Obel – Riverside

Tezatalks – find me

Passenger seat by clueless kit

Unitl Ruins – Survive

Fix this – soran

ALoan – No feat, no bravey

Au/Ra – panick Room

Ludo – love me dead

Modestep & Koven | Taken it All

Hookers – Tierra Whack

Ringtail – Cry alone

Bassnectar – Lost in the crowd (locoja remix)

Tom Odell

Emmanoodle

Love sick boys by Conan Gray

Kyko – Nature

AL3JANDRO – A street car named desire or bury me with my gold.

krydaform – drift  (slphr. remix)

Valentine HER

Magger we weren’t nothing

Friend (Acoutic Remix) – FRND

Fox stevenson – glue gun , fox Stevenson never before

Crisis by ZQH

Ryan Caraveo – Perfect World

Volor Flex – Wait

Denis Neve – Cold

Marcho marche – song of us

The Ali a intro

Chloe Adams and Once Monsters – Messed up

Khamsin & LeMarquis Leaving

Take/five Tell me

Weathers – Shallow Water

CelDro & Wholm – Essence

Kimya Dawson – The Competition

Two:22

ddu du du by blackpink

Flacko veli

Adam Jensen – Pretty Please

Holy other – know where

Christian French – superstars

Uncharted Memory by Maekc

Animadrop – in love with the night sky

killedmyself – the 1965 world cup (ft. taylor mrogan)

Come Alive by FMLYBND

Imagine Dragons – I bet my life

Tomorrows another day – CMA

There’s something special – Pokki DJ

Things to say – Youth in Circles

Playing safe- Martell

Olivia ruby’s songs

Subscape malet

Killboy

Mogili ft. NOVAA – Tonic Water (Snocker Cot remix)

So Happy Together by The Turtles

Waves by Chloe Moriondo

Some newer Savant – In Your Name

Open Field by Allamedah

Leuan-Honey Laveder

Anything by Xo Sad

Filly in the box – grey fire

Sweet Dreamer – Will Joseph Cook

Neffex – Summertime

Neffex – Welcome to the city

Old artist – Skrux, Crywolf, Mrfijiwiji, digital daggers, laura brehm, feint, grabitz, blackmill,

dabin, flexprod, TheFatRat, Gemini, Mako, PatrickReza, singurality, Skoto, stalgia

Mewmore Ogilt

Blan – Hold On

Robot Koch – Nitesky

Tritonal – Out My Mind (Apek Remix)

Zymosis feat. Katya Chilly – i zemili

Blank – Hold On

Edge by Tobias Lundergard

Mr FijiWiji – Lost Lost Lost

I’ve got you brother by Kodaline

Mewmore ‘Battle! Diantha’

Zaya – Exist in Me

J-Mox – Melina and Mahout Hunter

Omar Lynxs

Sourpatch Kids – Bryce Vine

Alcatraz – Oliver Riot

Nico and Vinz – So Bad

Eivor – Mjorkaflokar

Mochi – Taste of your love

Ina – you

Ina – Feels like home

Hats feat. Diana Fire

Ruth Calixto – Phoenix

Contessa – Running

Asaf Avidan (artist)

Whatever it takes- Imagine Dragons

Kobel – Don’t hit my line

Hippo army ‘dance flow’

Robert Miles- Fable

Wrong thing – Janine

Lady Bee – Homeless Heart

Les Castizos & Ally Eckmann – Get Over it

Delphi Freeman – My World

Vice by rkcb

Pheeniks silence slowed remix

Believed in you – Janine

Billy Raffoul – Unitl The Hurting is Gone

Finneas – Break my Heart Again

Sublab – Rose (Feat Mads)

Rings in Rings in Rings by A Shell in the sand

Halo – Boston Maner

Monster by Martin Hall (acoustic)

Ayreon – Merlin’s Will

All I know – Jandro (rap)

Mimi page – lullaby for the loney (yinyues remix)

Boing Boing – The Seige

That thing – Parrad

Polaroid – Cabadzi (French Band)

Tinder by limbo

Bad Dream Hotline – FOE

Clairvoyance Peak – Sound Remedy

Beautiful – The Nicholas (ft. San Holo)

Out of Order – Michl

Rynx- I’m alright

Drainpuppet – VEXT

Wonders (the AGST remix)

Alec Benjamin – Boy in the bubble

Eden – gold

Val – Mi amor

She couldn’t – Linkin Park

Spirit of the Lillies – Lockyn

Egs – Six days

Fall Into your from Cosmic Gate

Shinigami – a fallen angel

New Phynix ft. Matthew Steeper – Sparks

Katastro

Awake At Night – LOWES

Bad Tourist- Madelyn Darling

pxzvc – bad idea

Toybox redrapper

To the wonder – aqualung ft kina grannis

Midnight City – M83

I’m sad- Bassti

Romeo and Juliet Nino rota

Magic ft. Laladee- Capture (AZURA Remix)

New For You – Reeve Carney

Rei Brown

Heartafire

Copy cat – Billie Eilish

Djfriz – Dive

Cheery Coke – Blind

Bughunt – Morse

Shallou’s music

Yungblud

m i s t – eevee

Lexurus – Forever

Fluerie – Turns You Into Stone

Nekzlo – heading home

Kyddiekafka – Everlasting

Wisp x – mint

cYsmix – Fright March

WARR!OR & Eloy Smith – Come With Me

Chelsea Cutler

Rule the fire – IMLAY

Btsm – Fae down (crystalize remix)

Nine Roses – wiguez

Bro Safari – follow

Barnes Courtney

Haud U – Lil Peep

D3tail- Cloudy day

Lightspeed by Amadeus

Lost my mind – elley duhe

Illoquence and Rythmatical – If you’re the one

Christian Tierne – 26 Hours

Graves – Hilo feat. Boombox Cartel

Sublab & Wistful – My Love

Evanturetime – Sober

Home – resonance

Yuutsu – sun, slow

Casilofi – Little treasure

Kate Rusby

Simple Plan (emo rock)

Collide – Fytch

New Years Daya – Malevolence

NEFFEX – Take Me Away

Z Tapes

Forgive me – Miqu beats

STAHL – Chemicals

Rise – Jaydon Lewis

Unknow – the macabees

Khai dreams – fireflies

Portugal by the highs

HrDavs – Afternoon

Jellyfish – Yunomi

Every Other Lie – Oliver Has a Band

Sublab – Polarity Waves

2000f & jkamata – you don’t know what love is

N’to Croche

Khai Dreams – Find my way

The Greatest Showman soundtrack

Stars Come Out – Calvin Harris

Shinobi – cold without you

Luke Christopher – Believer/Tmrwfrvr Album/Roses

Three days grace

AJ super – nightmares

oomiee – Hotshot

Convolk

Jacob Lee

Adam sample – weekend

Bohnes

Mounika – Intro (slowed)

Sink or swim – Castor Tony

Dean – Insragram

Bleachers – Don’t take the money

Ember – KLP

Apstract – Fade Away II

Mushroom people – LOWWS

07 Nepal Kodak White

TENDER (artist)

Brothel, Siewalks and skeletons – Dissolution

OflYne – Rain

Karmic – Higher self

DJ Quads music

Sleeping At Last (artist)

Now’s new album ‘Saved’

Do You Miss Me At All – Bridgit Mendler

Gravity Bong – Meth Wax

Blue valentina- Nina

Soda on siphon – Elegant pumpkin

Kubi & Hubba – Boom

Zealyn – Limbic System

In love with a ghost please

Remix of leave the lights on – Meiko

Kungs – Be right here

The Tech Thieves – Gold

Cinders- 100 foxes

Bhones – middle finger

Guatemala swae Lee

Atic – astrid s

Antoje = TrahaGaine

The Galaxy feat. Sophie Simmons – Dangerous

Say hi to your mom (artist)

HAWN (on BANDCAMP)

LNLYK

We are the hearts

Alone Tonight – Digital Daggers

North Atlantic Explorers – Into the Blue Sea

Here’s what I got in return –

MrSuicideSheep.PNG

Thank you Sheepy! 🙂

Flat & Realism : On Quarter-Life Crisis

I visit the bookmarks in my browser one day, as I normally do, scrolling through the numerous gateways to my explored treasures of the Internet. Scrolling down and scrolling back up and there at the top, something catches my attention. It’s one of my first bookmarks, a link to a website titled – ‘Flat design vs. realism‘. By mere glance, all these snapshots flashes before me.

It was a battle. Back in 2013, when the Internet junta fought over the fate of it. Will flat design finally overshadow realistic 3-D rendition or will the later continue to dominate? It was the time when the websites finally bow down to the king of interfaces.

Don’t worry! I’m not going to give a lecture on ‘Effective UI building – the history & the future’. Nope.

Anyway, I must tell that the website was fun to scroll through. I couldn’t find the live site URL, so here is something from the archive.

There was an actual fight – you pick the side, you want to fight for.

Flat VS Realism screenshot 3

But here’s the thing that I want to emphasize through this whole build up – both of these sides were equally powerful on their own to dominate the Internet UI space. Both of them had their own pros & cons (one having more than other) and each of them had their following (once again, one having more than other). But at the end, only one has to stay.

Few days ago, I was confronted with a similar choice. But unlike previous time, it was my personal career at stake. Before graduating from college, I was working in this newly inaugurated incubator space called ‘Center for Healthcare Entrepreneurship’ as a technical assistant to the fellows. I started out as an intern (pioneer batch technically) and stuck to it throughout my final year.

For What It’s Worth

Every challenge that I’ve faced,

Every problem that I’ve fought,

Every misery that I’ve endured,

Every obstacle that I’ve encountered,

Every pain that I’ve tolerated,

Every enemy that I’ve defeated,

Every stigma that I’ve overcome,

In each of those moments when I’ve asked – ‘why me?’ in vain

I have consolidated my stand,

Holding firmly to my roots,

Fighting the demon.

One which hears no cry, no scream;

For what it’s worth,

It’s all for my big dream.

 

So I have undergone a difficult phase of my life in recent times. I have been steered by compulsion adrift in direction that I never intended to follow. I haven’t given proper time to the things that really matter to me, out of inattentiveness and sometimes due to sheer anger borne out of my circumstances. I have looked onto things in search of silver lining.

It has been unsettling to accept reality. I was so engulfed in venting out my disagreement that I forgot why I am here in the first place. It’s all part of a bigger plan which is now unfurling its crest and troughs. It was never promised to be a straight boulevard. Where’s the fun in that? It’s when you have hit the bottom and persisted, you appreciate the height you surmount to reach at top.

Note – This poem was written impromptu at the end of yet another day of trying to hold onto things which are beyond my control. Though I shouldn’t be complaining because these are ultimately the manifestation of my decision. Decision that I was once bound to take. How much ever I would like to scream out what’s bugging me these days, I’m being discreet here. The spell continues but I become a little more mature to deal with it.

The Turn It Takes

To move is to be alive. Motion in itself, is a characteristic of liveliness. As much it is true in the literal sense, its figurative implications dominate without exception. Contrary to those who dread change, I for one, welcome them. Not that I’m not skeptical what it brings with it but I get bored with the mere concept of settling in.

How can someone be contempt when there is so much to explore out there? You haven’t even tried all these sorts of thing. How could you be adamant on this being your style.

Reading, writing, watching, talking, reacting, experimenting – all these are aspects of exploration – an exposure to the vastness of the world outside and the world within. It irks me when I feel myself slipping into comfort zone. I get uncomfortable instead.

jumps back to being vulnerable again

I despise mundanity and to counter the mold that I was kind of settling into, regarding my video making process, I decided to bring some change this time. It took me a while to finally upload it because the footage used were gathered over a vast spectrum of events. Finding a coherent story that ran through these random footage was a fun part to explore. I wanted to showcase more intimate part of my personality which was somewhat disguised in my earlier videos.

With that being said, dear readers, here I present you – The New Kind.

Cafe Ecstasy

Tomorrow, I would be packing up my stuffs and head to Bangalore for a 3 day trip. Though it is for work, I’m going to meet two of my best friends living nearby. After college, we moved to different cities, working in different jobs, living different lives but what kept us connected is this undeterred bond we developed over 4 years. Here’s what I want to say to them –

Hey bros! I have missed you. I have missed your presence around me. I have missed taking those late night walks with you.

I have missed those pointless arguments. I have missed those logical discussions.

I have missed scolding you for classes. I have missed you scolding me for going to one without you.

I have missed your awkwardness. I have missed your ingeniousness. 

Though I know that we have left our place of rendezvous and living different lives, I’m gonna revive all those days when I see you. 

Edit – Well! I finally have something to show you guys. It took me more than 2 months of on & off editing to bring it into this form. It wasn’t hard because it was difficult to put these footage together, rather the emotion was hard to contain. You know that ecstatic feeling of meeting a part of you –