An Uncomprehended Euphoria

Sitting beneath the dark blue sky,

Gentle wind gushing past by ears,

You whispered something, I could never forget;

The words that didn’t dissolve,

In whirling wind or the tides of time,

Substituted for myriad of feelings,

Spoken so beautifully as if made for the moment;

 

Days after, I sit here silently, smiling

Listening to your favorite song,

Thinking of this mystery lying underneath

Emblazoning my senses like the first sun ray,

That falls on petals covered in dew at dawn,

Imagining how you would’ve reacted

If I had told that

The mere thought of being with you

Gives me the zest of an uncomprehended euphoria;

Author’s Note – I often have those eureka moments when I would utter out words without any conscious effort. I would either imagine a scenario or be in one and it would come out from within. It’s amazing how true feeling for something trigger the necessary explanation. These are indescriptive yet understood. Earlier I used to think that the most beautiful lines are well thought of but now I know they’re often spontaneous, made out in the situations like these. Happy Valentine’s Day! 🙂

If you missed my last year’s valentine post, you can read it here.

The Post-it Note

Feels like I’m forgetting something!” – thought my weary mind.

At times when I’m alone, which is mostly the case, I stumble upon random thoughts. Blankly staring at the void, I keep rephrasing that ideas that knock on my cognitive door. I would mumble to satiate my opinionated self. Like the other day I was thinking –

How shallow people’s perceptions are and it irks me. I’m constantly being chased to be bitten but my participation to this race is totally involuntary. 

The aforementioned sentence would’ve made more sense if given the context but in such restless times when I would toil to be poetic like this –

There’s something out of sight,

That’s pinching me hard upright;

Is it the expression I failed to comprehend?

Or is it the tone I didn’t understand?

I might have overlooked things in due stress,

Whatever that might be, now I feel restless.

I would read that and say – “Wow! it came out worse than I thought”.

Then I would go back, play with the alignments and permutations of old and new entities. When my creative grey cells drift towards the extremes, I strive to restore the tint.  So that’s about fumbling with notions in solitude.

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When in luck I get company, I invoke the story hidden underneath. What’s up with them? What was happening with my friends when I was reaping the solitary crop? And most of the times, it’s more than what I had expected. If you make people comfortable around you, your persona will seek what they would be willing to share. In the retrospect, it gives a whole new direction to my thought process.

It’s always good to be surrounded by people who are smarter than you. You learn so much. You get fresh new perspective on things which you’ve been doing for years. When in such circumstances, I ponder – why didn’t I think of it in the first place?

Feeling of slight discomfort (I fall short of better word) is totally humane. But you should be careful enough not to let  your competitiveness overshadow this opportunity for learning. I should and must become a perpetual learner.

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Establishing synergy between my solitude and companionship is my way through. I know this blog post seems as vague to you as it does to me. But I feel the essence is there in that very incoherence. It’s my creative ride I’m surfing on. Casey Neistat says – “If you’re doing what everyone else is doing, you’re doing it wrong“. And there it goes on my post-it note.

 

Stars Out, You Shine & It Gets Better!

It’s the undeterred passion for something that will take you far. It’s the genuine love for what you do that’ll pull you out of adversities, if any. It’s your honesty towards yourself that will work wonders.

You must have heard similar versions of these lines. I would have written them explicitly in some other blog post but note it down now, it’s the bottom line for ‘starting out on a creative journey‘. Now there are two contrasting statements underlying this philosophy –

“You should have fun in whatever you’re doing.”

“Sometime you’ve do mundane stuffs to reach to the point where it gets interesting.”

These two talks about the separate phases of the entire process. Both are equally true but the later is subjective. Those mundane stuffs could be amusing to you because the anticipation affirms its consequences. Just the other day, I was watching a video featuring EDM artist Skrillex where he was talking to a bunch of guys saying (quoted verbatim) –

Have some fun. Make some music. If it’s fun – that’s all that matters. You look back and say – I spend all those days, I met all these people and it was fun. That’s cool. I’m having fun. I’m in the same room you’re all sitting in right now. I’m in the same place as you guys are.

That being said, when I wrote the blog post ‘Where My Solace At‘, though it was intended to be a work of fiction, it highly reflected what I was going through then. I needed to come out of it. When you feel lost, stop feeling that and start doing something that will distract you from unnecessary contemplation. Sitting idle and waiting for things to get on track just waste your time.

Last year when I was the web coordinator for our technical fest, I went through a lot of such moments when I was clueless. I was helpless as there was no one I could’ve talked to. For hours and days I sat alone in the computer lab doing night outs, even during vacations.

As the fest came and I delivered what I was responsible of, all of this story died in the fainting sound of few appreciations. I had started documenting my experience as ‘Delving Into The Developer’s Dilemma‘ but I never really came to the terms of publishing it. I needed it to be more appealing. I needed it to be compelling enough to trigger an instant reminiscence.

I see thousands of such stories floating around and if I could deliver the entire essence into few minutes, eliminating out the mundanity, then the impact is tremendous. This year I voluntarily took the responsibility of doing just that. I turned to multimedia to document the entire fest story.

Often I have the story in mind but in college, I don’t find many people who would be willing to be the central subject. Here I had tens, hundreds and thousands to people, each of them with their contribution, to write a cohesive piece. It was upon me to discover that cohesiveness.

I shot behind the scenes, I shot the decorations, I shot the fun, I shot the informals, I shot the pronites, I shot the events, I shot an entire amazing fest. Now it all lies with me ready to be woven into a fabric of festive feel. Here’s one for the start –

The point of writing all these is to remind myself and inspire others that it all happened because I shrugged off my gloomy feeling. I went ahead and did what I loved.

Just before the fest I had caught cold. My health was not at all well but not once in those three days I thought that I should take rest. All my hunger and thirst took the back seat because I had the burning appetite for capturing those moments. I knew that if it is lost, I won’t regain it ever. I’m much well now and a lot happy because of what I did.

Many a times in life, we find ourselves struggling with circumstances. In that case, just stop thinking for a moment and do something that makes you happy. Do not sit around searching for motivation, watching random videos of YouTube or browsing 9gag/Facebook, loathing your life.

Instead if you like sketching, make an art. Like reading, read something worthwhile. Like writing, write your heart out, without worrying about presentation or sugar coating it. Many of the best written pieces are the ones written without any prior planning. They were felt in the moment and inscribed with ink in pristine form.

If you like coding, then play around with the code. What you do today might hit some other day when you’re stuck. If you like film making, go ahead, explore and look out for the inspiration that will trigger a masterpiece.

Author’s Note – This is my second blog post in the ‘Fest Diary‘ series. Hopefully I would be writing about other stuffs if I remember something worthwhile. It was my last fest here in college, so that makes it more special. Nonetheless I’ll keep posting the videos in the blog posts as soon I upload them.

Also remember how I keep advocating why you should make gift for people, well there’s nothing as wondrous as this. Day before yesterday I made a little tribute video for our special host Sumit Suvarna and sent it along with the other videos I shot of him.

He really liked my unexpected gift. We got connected over social medias and now we have planned to catch up whenever he is in Hyderabad. Exciting! 🙂